Review-Critique[]
Well, I'll just point out the factors I like, and don't like. Let's begin.
Outline[]
The way you introduce this character, is great. You begin to make the reader feel the sense that Dragoons are not just mere mortals with dragon-based techniques. It drew me in, like reading a legend in the making. A Dragoon is most definately a hard life to live by, to hone one's soul and body: to quell their hopes and dreams in order to become a destroyer of Dragons. As well, you have shown that living the life of a myth made reality is not one of leisure: but extremely daunting and challenging. Hopefully this wards off would be users that would have an idea that being a Dragoon is so easy and simple: when it is most definately not.
You implamented the idea that they are almost a elite miltary-esque force. Which is good: because that's the way they should be conceived. The amount of power a master Dragoon could wield, would be astonishing enough for small kingdoms (or large), even groups would want a dragon-slayer as a member of their team. Albeit, this also comes with the danger that Dragoons are probably very strong willed due to training and upbringing: and would not always wish to adhere to someone's idealogy or individualism.
I applaud you on introducing them with such gusto and vibrance: 9.3/10
The Process/Initiation[]
I like realism; and honesty. Most people who recognize me know that. And brutal training: is very real in elite forces around the world today, some nations more then others. The Dragoons: should be an exampler of this, and you made them such. Failure leading to death is an all too realistic factor in life, and it is a neccesary push to only glean the strongest of warriors from the folds of initiates they may choose to 'recruit'.
The prospect that a Dragoon Master, would train their pupils in certain areas varying on the type of dragon they are meant to hunt: good idea. I like it, and it would make sense, because if they were trained too widely spread out in tactics and ways to kill dragons that were not even common to the region they were in: the Dragoons would not have the results they wished out of their disciples. Basically: Ten years wasted, and more deaths.
Blood has a symbolism; everyone knows that. It's a life force; whatever is in nature, animal, plant, humans, (even to the supernatural if you believe), blood is an essential part, no matter the form. And in many mytho's is blood a requirement for the dark, serious, or sinister. For a Dragoon; to 'drink' or obtain this blood, it would mean they are becoming one with what you hunt. You are taking what was once the life essence of your defeated, and calling it your own if it was worthy enough.
I applaud you again: 9.0/10 (Had it been a tad longer, it would have been a ten :) )
Abilities[]
Jump is basic enough of a concept for anyone to think about, and it's the little things that matter when it comes to combat. Enhanced speed, enhanced strength; to a simple enhanced jump could change the tide of battle in your favor. It's definately not flying (and really, that's a big no-no in my mind), so jumping is the best next thing. Nice description.
Gungnir, the famous weaponry of the Dragoon. Nice touch on the weight, density, and mass of the weapon by the way. The wisdom of stealing such a magnificent spear is also placed into question through a simple: "How dumb can you get to incur their wrath?" so kudos to the what if brought into play.
Dragon Arts, and Capabilities you summed up rather well. And again; you mentioned the blood of the Dragon(s) slain to be the foundation stone of these powers. Good; because that's important, and it's what the Dragoon embodies. They would be nothing without it. And you made that clear, you also made it clear how they were capable of wielding such lofty weapons as their immense spears, and the utilizing of their unique Blue Magic.
8.7/10.
Summary[]
You did very will in describing within a confined space and limit how a Dragoon should be seen, and known. Simple enough for me to love reading it, and simple enough for others to grasp. Detailed enough for me to fall in love with the class all over again, and descriptive enough for others to see just how much potential a Dragoon can have. (And how dangerous they really are... and how hard it is to become one)
Your Total Score was: 9.2/10. Illusive Dream 19:37, June 7, 2012 (UTC)